Door #2

I was digging through the EAP archives a last night and stumbled across an old post that reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend about a week ago. Over a few beers and boring baseball game, we discussed the things that we were looking for in a girl.

A lot of the normal fare came up. You know, the whole "lookin' for a dime, that's top of the line with a cute face, slim waist, and big behind" jazz. But once we got past all of the superficial stuff, we had a pretty interesting conversation. I even managed to find out something about myself. The things that I look for in a woman now aren't the same things that I was looking for a few years ago.

In an EAP post from mid-2005, I shared three characteristics that were important (to me) for a girl to have:

3 Things I Look For In A Girl
1) The ability to roll with my randomness. Sometimes I'm just gonna be random for no damn reason and I halfway expect it in return. I'm enjoy pure silliness. Hell, I have about 40 multiple personalities, I better be.
2) Nothing. There's times I like hanging out with a girl and I really don't want anything from her. I don't need her to be girly, or a great host, or anything of the like. Sometimes I just really enjoy the company. Bonus points if she smells good though.
3) The ability to carry a captivating conversation. I like being random, but I enjoy seriousness sometimes also. Talking about real issues and such. You find out a lot about a person that way.

Some four years later, I think only one of those traits still hold true.

I still want a girl who can carry a conversation. Actually, I have to have a girl who can talk. Contrary to what my Hola posts would have you believe, physical attractiveness makes up only a small part of my "interest equation." You can be smoking hot, but if I can't talk to you about "real things," then my interest level immediately drops to zero. Weird, I know -- but that's how I'm wired. I like smart girls. That statement is probably the tip of a bigger underlying Oedipus complex, but I have very little tolerance for dumb girls.

As far as the other two characteristics, I think my desire for them is still there, just not in the same way I expressed them previously.

Instead of wanting "nothing" from a girl, I just want a girl who can entertain herself. Believe me, that's harder to find than you think it would be. I need a girl with her own friends, her own interests, her own hobbies, etc. Don't count on me to always be available to make your life more exciting. Why not? Because I have my own friends, interests, and hobbies. That may sound like I don't want to make time for a girlfriend, which is far from the truth. I don't want to make time for a girlfriend who wants to occupy all of my time. I don't like being smothered. And as far as dealing with my randomness goes, well I'm older now. I'm not as random anymore. Not to say that I don't have my moments though...

In terms of new revelations, I've discovered two new things I want from a girl:

1) I need her to have a little bit of bitch in her. Not a lot -- I don't think I could tolerate dealing with Kate Gosselin -- but just a little bit. I find a girl who gets emotionally passionate about certain things to be kinda hot. Also, if she's got a little bit of bitch in her, then that means she's not a pushover. That's good, because given the chance I have the tendency take advantage of weak-minded people. It's a flaw, I know.

2) The ability to understand that there will be times that I just won't care. There are times when I truly believe that I am the most nonchalant person on the face of the planet. Being broke doesn't get under my skin. Getting in a car accident doesn't rattle me. Misplacing an item doesn't drive me crazy. A looming deadline doesn't get me all worked up. Life's too short to always be upset and as such, there aren't many things that bother me. Surprisingly, my ability to not be bothered, bothers some people. Go fig.

Now do I think I can find a actually girl with all of these traits? Probably not on my own accord. When I actively search a girl out, it usually blows up in my face. But if I just let life take its course, then yeah, probably so. I like to think that things have a way of working themselves out, so why should finding an ideal mate be any different?

Hopefully life tosses me a bone and gives me a Hispanic girl though. Not that I'm overly picky or anything.

The Truth

I don't think about her daily anymore. I don't miss her constantly anymore. I hardly even talk to her now.

"I compare every girl to her. They're not as pretty. They're not as smart. They're not as caring. They can't hold a conversation as well. They just don't measure up."

That doesn't make the above any less true. That makes me a little sad.

PostSecret

Every week I like to take a few minutes and read through the postcards at PostSecret while listening to DeVotchKa's "Til The End Of Time."

It's always the best three minutes of my week.

The More Things Change...

Graduation 2004

The more they remain the same...

Graduation 2008

Insomnia

I'm officially done with school next Thursday. That is as long as I don't tank the final that I'm supposed to be studying for. Procrastination...I've danced with her so many times already, what's one more dance going to hurt.

I have an idea of what I want to do with my future, but not a specific one. I like that. I think I tied myself down a bit too much last time I went job hunting. I was definitely focused on what I should be doing instead of what I wanted to being doing.

After looking through my past a little, I've come to this conclusion. I like it for what it was. I enjoyed every minute of it. I don't want to relive any of it. I say that because I like the way my present has worked itself out.

There are nights when taking a nap on the couch is better than going downtown. Inner peace and all that jazz.

Everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves before writing them off.

"You clear you conscience with words so weak and empty, but something your eyes gave you away."
- Vendetta Red

The only thing keeping me from thinking this is a completely bad idea is her eyes. They're nothing special, but they're full of genuine emotion -- hope, happiness, joy. There's a dreamer there, and I like that.

The thing that made me realize that I'd be making a mistake if I thought about this any further is her eyes. They may be big and beautiful, but I don't feel like there's any warmth there.

Its getting late...early. Sleep would be a good idea.

Spillage

A lot of things in life are mental. Everything else is physical. A good walk is where those two intersect. It's good for the body while at the same time increasing blood flow to the brain. Releasing endorphins and all of that jazz. Here's to making this a daily thing. Which shouldn't be too hard as I'm more wasteful with my time than I am productive.

Life's funny sometimes. Just when you thought you closed an old book, in comes a gust a wind to blow the cover open. Lovely.

I think she's pretty awesome. Definitely moreso than anyone else. Too bad I have no clue what step 2 should be. Or even if there is a chance for a step 2 to even occur.

It doesn't matter how many times I say it, no one believes me. Money isn't the solution to everything and happiness is vastly underrated in today's society. Oh well. Mom always said that sometimes the best lessons are the ones you have to learn the hard way.

"Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't."

I stopped feeling guilty years ago. Things always work out in the end.