RAW Choice Cut: Garbage - "I'm Only Happy When It Rains"
"Lord I don't cry no mo, don't' look to the sky no mo. Have mercy on me, have mercy on my soul…"
- 50 Cent
Life isn't fair sometimes. But I knew that already. No one ever said it was supposed to be. Everyone gets a good hand dealt to him or her at some point in life. It's just a matter of waiting for your turn.
"We love in vein. Narcissistic and so shallow…" - Marilyn Manson
If I do say so, I've learned a lot this semester. And considering its only January, I'm quite impressed. One of the things I learned I found out in my Mgmt 430 class (white-collar crime). According to some handout, I have a lot of signs of being narcissistic. Now while I'll agree with the 5 out of the 9 points wholeheartedly, I wouldn't call myself narcissistic. I prefer egocentric. Or slightly conceited. Or if I want to sugarcoat it, full of self-esteem. I care to much sometimes to be narcissistic. That and the fact I wouldn't be able to spell the damn word without the help of spell-checker.
"Listen, here's the clever one who speaks before his thoughts are done." - Juliana Theory
In a conversation I had w/ a friend of mine not too long after posting the Anthology, she asked me why I do these [EAP & RAW] things. Simple answer. Keeps not only peace of mind not just for me, but also for everyone else. I write these things to a) vent and to b) appease everyone. I wrote way back when that "people get off on other people's misfortunes." The EAPs w/ the largest hit counts were the ones that weren't the most pleasing. Sure, I could have just kept quiet about the extremely bad/weird things that happen to me, but then my friends get curious. Then they start talking. Then it gets all weird, and I go on the offensive, them on the defensive, yadda yadda. I found out in high school that its not worth all the hassle. It's easier just to communicate what's going on. Keeping things inside of your head/heart is never a good thing. And besides, sometimes the best way to hide things are to just leave them out in the open.
(T_Piddy: O. K. Considering when Terence wrote this (1/14) and when I'm proofreading this (1/22), I'd have to say this is easily the most prophetic thing he's written in a loooong time…)
"…and I may find in time that you were always right. You're always right."
- Vertical Horizon
You know, sometimes you don't find out you were wrong until way down the road. And when you do, you're like "Damn. I messed up on that one." A couple years back Rebecca (most of ya'll know who she is, so I'm not explaining) pretty much chewed me out. Why? Because apparently I didn't "treat her like a girl." Now at the time, I was like this is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard. But in hindsight, which is always 20/20, it was a pretty logical statement. Sometimes you don't really notice how you don't treat someone until you can make some type of comparison. Call it being complacent or just straight unobservative (that is so not a word), but you really don't notice when you lose your twinkle in your eye or you stop sending that nice sweet little email just because. It happens, but not on purpose. Anyways, I'm rambling. I need a point here… Let's see - Guys, treat your ladies right. Remember they're women and don't forget why you liked 'em in the first place, Girls - don't hate us for being dumb sometimes. There. I cleaned that up nicely.
"I keep asking myself, wondering "how?" I keep closing my eyes, but I can't figure out…"
- t.A.T.u.
First off Arianna, that's a HUGE ladder jump. I think I'll just be weary of that one. Second off, yes your right. Guys can't tell the difference between girls "playing hard to get" and girls going "please stop bothering me." Speaking from experience, I know I sure can't. You guys should just come with digital readouts. It'd make life a lot easier.
"Maybe it's because you actually listen when she talks. When do you actually listen? Never. But she doesn't know…"
- Matt Brochu, UMass Collegian Columnist
Conversations. There's a huge difference between actually listening to what the person is saying and listening to when they're done so when you know its your turn to talk. Think about that next time you have a conversation…
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Monday, January 05, 2004
5 January 2004
RAW Choice Cut: Evanescence - "My Immortal (Band Version)"
I'd prefer an instrumental right now, but I don't want to look for it at the moment. The words just don't really convey what I'm thinking completely, but the music speaks to me.
Sometimes the winds that blow are not just some simple breeze. Sometimes what'd you like to be the winds of change carry the past along for the ride. It's like the smell of the night air floods your brain with memories you thought you had forgotten. Some good. Some bad. Some interesting. But memories nonetheless. Then when your present catches up to you and taps you on the shoulder, you look it in the eye, and you just completely draw a blank. You kinda just wanna swim around in the old memories for a little bit longer. And when you snap back into it (or just get cold from being outside) you realize something - yep. That's a new memory you just made. Pleased with it?
"I'm just a dreamer. I dream my life away…" - Ozzy Osbourne
I give my imagination credit. I'm never at a loss for scenarios. I can see a whole forest. I can see it flourish into a giant rain forest. I can see it burn to the ground in a raging inferno. But somewhere along the line, I kinda forget to plant the first tree in the ground. Then after all that I decide, "I don't have a green thumb. Why am I planting trees?" Next thing I know I've moved on to some other task that looks great to start.
"And you fall and you crawl, and you break, and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty…"
- Avril Lavigne
Sometimes you receive so much data and information you really don't know how to use it. Some of the data would be great to have if you could process it quicker. The information would be wonderful if you knew how to benefit from it. I seriously believe life should come with a quick troubleshooting handout. Especially when it comes to life changing decisions. A quick time out would be nice. Not even a full, a 20 sec. would be good.
"(There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface. Consuming…) Confusing what is real."
- Linkin Park
Its like I have something on my mind but I just can't get to it. Whatever it is it's doing a damn good job of keeping me up at night late, yet waking me up before I'm rested. Whatever it is, I'm sure its gonna make life interesting. Oh well… At least it won't come as a surprise.
"I'm that nigga that they love to hate. I'm gonna make you use your mind, God has sent the sign. And when you listen to these rhymes, nigga take your time. Against I ask, if heaven was hell and vice versa..."
- Pastor Troy
T_Piddy: Mirrors. A lot of times you look into mirrors. You take 'em for granted sometime, unless your me. Then you're quite fond of them. But occasionally you look into that mirror and you question what's reflected back at you. Sometimes you wonder if what you're looking at is what's for real or just what'd you like to see. Either way, you're gonna stay pretty damn close to that mirror. And people call me conceited… :-)
I'd prefer an instrumental right now, but I don't want to look for it at the moment. The words just don't really convey what I'm thinking completely, but the music speaks to me.
Sometimes the winds that blow are not just some simple breeze. Sometimes what'd you like to be the winds of change carry the past along for the ride. It's like the smell of the night air floods your brain with memories you thought you had forgotten. Some good. Some bad. Some interesting. But memories nonetheless. Then when your present catches up to you and taps you on the shoulder, you look it in the eye, and you just completely draw a blank. You kinda just wanna swim around in the old memories for a little bit longer. And when you snap back into it (or just get cold from being outside) you realize something - yep. That's a new memory you just made. Pleased with it?
"I'm just a dreamer. I dream my life away…" - Ozzy Osbourne
I give my imagination credit. I'm never at a loss for scenarios. I can see a whole forest. I can see it flourish into a giant rain forest. I can see it burn to the ground in a raging inferno. But somewhere along the line, I kinda forget to plant the first tree in the ground. Then after all that I decide, "I don't have a green thumb. Why am I planting trees?" Next thing I know I've moved on to some other task that looks great to start.
"And you fall and you crawl, and you break, and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty…"
- Avril Lavigne
Sometimes you receive so much data and information you really don't know how to use it. Some of the data would be great to have if you could process it quicker. The information would be wonderful if you knew how to benefit from it. I seriously believe life should come with a quick troubleshooting handout. Especially when it comes to life changing decisions. A quick time out would be nice. Not even a full, a 20 sec. would be good.
"(There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface. Consuming…) Confusing what is real."
- Linkin Park
Its like I have something on my mind but I just can't get to it. Whatever it is it's doing a damn good job of keeping me up at night late, yet waking me up before I'm rested. Whatever it is, I'm sure its gonna make life interesting. Oh well… At least it won't come as a surprise.
"I'm that nigga that they love to hate. I'm gonna make you use your mind, God has sent the sign. And when you listen to these rhymes, nigga take your time. Against I ask, if heaven was hell and vice versa..."
- Pastor Troy
T_Piddy: Mirrors. A lot of times you look into mirrors. You take 'em for granted sometime, unless your me. Then you're quite fond of them. But occasionally you look into that mirror and you question what's reflected back at you. Sometimes you wonder if what you're looking at is what's for real or just what'd you like to see. Either way, you're gonna stay pretty damn close to that mirror. And people call me conceited… :-)
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