11-22 January 2004

RAW Choice Cut: Garbage - "I'm Only Happy When It Rains"

"Lord I don't cry no mo, don't' look to the sky no mo. Have mercy on me, have mercy on my soul…"
- 50 Cent
Life isn't fair sometimes. But I knew that already. No one ever said it was supposed to be. Everyone gets a good hand dealt to him or her at some point in life. It's just a matter of waiting for your turn.

"We love in vein. Narcissistic and so shallow…" - Marilyn Manson
If I do say so, I've learned a lot this semester. And considering its only January, I'm quite impressed. One of the things I learned I found out in my Mgmt 430 class (white-collar crime). According to some handout, I have a lot of signs of being narcissistic. Now while I'll agree with the 5 out of the 9 points wholeheartedly, I wouldn't call myself narcissistic. I prefer egocentric. Or slightly conceited. Or if I want to sugarcoat it, full of self-esteem. I care to much sometimes to be narcissistic. That and the fact I wouldn't be able to spell the damn word without the help of spell-checker.

"Listen, here's the clever one who speaks before his thoughts are done." - Juliana Theory
In a conversation I had w/ a friend of mine not too long after posting the Anthology, she asked me why I do these [EAP & RAW] things. Simple answer. Keeps not only peace of mind not just for me, but also for everyone else. I write these things to a) vent and to b) appease everyone. I wrote way back when that "people get off on other people's misfortunes." The EAPs w/ the largest hit counts were the ones that weren't the most pleasing. Sure, I could have just kept quiet about the extremely bad/weird things that happen to me, but then my friends get curious. Then they start talking. Then it gets all weird, and I go on the offensive, them on the defensive, yadda yadda. I found out in high school that its not worth all the hassle. It's easier just to communicate what's going on. Keeping things inside of your head/heart is never a good thing. And besides, sometimes the best way to hide things are to just leave them out in the open.
(T_Piddy: O. K. Considering when Terence wrote this (1/14) and when I'm proofreading this (1/22), I'd have to say this is easily the most prophetic thing he's written in a loooong time…)

"…and I may find in time that you were always right. You're always right."
- Vertical Horizon
You know, sometimes you don't find out you were wrong until way down the road. And when you do, you're like "Damn. I messed up on that one." A couple years back Rebecca (most of ya'll know who she is, so I'm not explaining) pretty much chewed me out. Why? Because apparently I didn't "treat her like a girl." Now at the time, I was like this is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard. But in hindsight, which is always 20/20, it was a pretty logical statement. Sometimes you don't really notice how you don't treat someone until you can make some type of comparison. Call it being complacent or just straight unobservative (that is so not a word), but you really don't notice when you lose your twinkle in your eye or you stop sending that nice sweet little email just because. It happens, but not on purpose. Anyways, I'm rambling. I need a point here… Let's see - Guys, treat your ladies right. Remember they're women and don't forget why you liked 'em in the first place, Girls - don't hate us for being dumb sometimes. There. I cleaned that up nicely.

"I keep asking myself, wondering "how?" I keep closing my eyes, but I can't figure out…"
- t.A.T.u.
First off Arianna, that's a HUGE ladder jump. I think I'll just be weary of that one. Second off, yes your right. Guys can't tell the difference between girls "playing hard to get" and girls going "please stop bothering me." Speaking from experience, I know I sure can't. You guys should just come with digital readouts. It'd make life a lot easier.

"Maybe it's because you actually listen when she talks. When do you actually listen? Never. But she doesn't know…"
- Matt Brochu, UMass Collegian Columnist
Conversations. There's a huge difference between actually listening to what the person is saying and listening to when they're done so when you know its your turn to talk. Think about that next time you have a conversation…