I stopped posting because I'm feeling really lonely. You figure it would have been the other way around as a blog is the ultimate display of someone who needs attention but its not that I'm looking for. Right now I've got no one close to me nearby. Which might be a first time for my life. This isn't a matter of wanting a girlfriend or anything like that. Just a good friend. Right now I've got Jen close by (who'll probably will be the only person to read this) and that's about it. But she leaves in a month's time so I'm not going to lean too hard on her. But all my other friends are way scattered about across the world (damn you Phil for going to China). And the odd thing is that this isn't something new. It's been like that for the last three years. I think it only became an issue once I decided that it was time quit fantasizing (in a good way) about Michele. In doing so I kind of ripped away a part of me that I had grown to live with. At that point not only did I realize that she was long gone, but so was an entire chapter of my life. That's really hard to swallow. The fact that I've held on (with only a handful of sappy posts) for the past two months amazes me. So why now? I don't know. I think it was going downtown and realizing that "hey, I don't know anyone here." I left early. I wasn't having fun anymore.
So at this point I'm deciding to step away from blogging for a bit. It'll give me time to try new stuff, meet new people, go new places. All that jazz. Or at least that's the plan. What does my time spent blogging have to do with my friends? A lot. To me at least. I like to think that all of them read up on me to see how I'm doing. I didn't want to fake it and put on the happy face while I was miserable inside. I've been down that road twice and didn't like it either time (once at the founding of the RAW columns and once during my year at CCF). Plus it'll save me the drama of everyone asking if I'm okay when I'm just venting. But I'll be back. It probably won't be for a while. And I probably won't be the same person. But I'll reappear eventually. But for now I'm signing off.
But when I come back, I'll bring the Power Rangers references back with me. I find them oh so cheesy, yet oh so fitting at the same time.
