Roll The Dice 19

Just cleaning my head out...

• $1 to the person who actually sees that the EAP is jumping from 18 to 20 the next time I do one of these. And there I was thinking I was slick when I started at 17 when I did a Technologic post with the same title.
• For some unknown reason, the Olympic ceremony that took place in Beijing made me prouder than normal to be a US citizen. Be it our choice of flag bearer or because this year's game is taking place in a truly foreign country (Australia speaks English and Greece is the home of the Olympics, so neither felt "truly" foreign) something inside me made me really proud to be an American. Now will that feeling be there in 17 days? Who knows.
• I can't find any motivation right now. School. Work. Social life. It's all just more of the same. I'm in dire need of a change of scenery.
• I eat too much. I need to stop that. Or at least exercise more. And drink less.
• Here's a conundrum. I decide to "rebuild my ladder." An open call on dating and talking to women. Things have gone decently well. New people have entered into my life all with their own personalities. Thing is, I'm not sure if I want to even bother myself with getting to know them. Why? Because I'm not sure if I like them or not. How do I not know if I like them or not? Because I decided that it would be a good idea to forget what I like in order to try something new. Go fig...
• One of my biggest fears in life is not living up to my potential. I feel that I'm supposed to accomplish something great. But where is the line drawn between what I'm "supposed" to accomplish and what makes me happy?
• Backing up to this whole ladder thing, someone asked me why I can't shake Michele and what makes her different from other girls. I think the thing is I never get to talk to her. She feels so distant. That lack of contact probably makes me miss her more than I should. But now I'm just retreading old territory. I'll move on.
• Outside of Michele, the person I probably miss the most is my little sister. Sure, she's an adult now (she's 21...wow, time flies) but I miss her company. We never have real conversations and when we do they're short and to the point -- but that's what I like about her. She knows me and I know her and that's cool. "Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future." Very true.
• Money isn't important to me. Just happiness. But more times than not it seems as if you need one to get to the other.
• Part of me wants a big move. If for no reason other than to reinvent myself. The person I am now wouldn't have any clue who he was 10 years ago. That was the plan. And just like how I felt that I was outgrowing my skin a decade ago, I feel the same way now. The bad thing is, while I somewhat enjoyed life in high school, I really enjoy life now. I really have no complaints. But be it not reaching my potential, not being as happy as I could be, or not getting to the life I want to get to, I know that doing the same things I'm doing now won't help me in the long run. So now it's time to hit the reset button...